I actually never got back into the game from a wrongful conviction in 1988-1990. MorenoValley convicted my ass, and Palm Springs Sheriffs got Big Juan. Both of us were to be released three months apart. When I got out from Susanville state Prison, I made my way to Juan at Bautista Fire Camp in Riverside. Juan would write me and say " fred man its on when I touch down" I couldnt wait to get out to see him before it was to late he touch the trenches.
I had to risk going on the prison grounds to lace his ass on the game. I told him that he’s just a "Pond-like piece on a chess board in the game of dope dealing. I told him I’m going to give you "Kingship Game." It's what intelligent entrepreneurs and conneseiurs bring to the business side of to this world. I continued to tell Juan that he should run the dealings for just two years, then suddenly stop! I gave him Fast Freddie phone number, with further instructions to go through the homie from Grape Street Watts to locate Freddie.
I schematically gave him Master Mind Game, and emphasized that he should Quit by year end of ‘92 or early ‘93!
I headed off to Juan’s spot in Ontario, Playing Westside Connection “Bow Down.” I pulled up to Juan’s house and he said, “Bro, I got a surprise for you.” juan did mention to me at the Prison parking lot that the Porsche was mine and that we were millionaire$! And so I was like, show me the money. Juan opened the front door of the house and just where a coffee table should have been was a stack of money in all kinds of denominations that equaled a million. Juan kept tapping the money. He was excited to show me and said “Let me show you what ya bro doing.”
We went into a bedroom where it was fixed up to style as a kid’s room. There was a baby Bed, and in that baby bed was another million dollars. Juan said, “The living room Money is for you and the family Fred. This is mine.”
Then he took me into the master bedroom and showed me nearly another million dollars. Juan said, “This is part of my recop! I’m at a ton a month now fred, and as of this month, I’ll be pulling in 2 million dollars about a week, but thats if things go right out of town. But Freddie, I was waiting for you to come home to tell you first and then to the family, they don’t know yet, but let’s tell them. Fred show them how you can build a financial portfolio in Real Estate."
Juan then took me into the garage to show off his showroom low rider cars. There was a door that entered inside the house and it led to the garage. Inside the garage He had two ‘64 Chevy Impalas. One was Black on Black, ragtop. The other was Gold on Gold, hardtop. Equipped with electric windows, running air conditioners, Hi End sound Systems, and a trunk so clean you can eat out of it.
As I was looking around I noticed a pallet in front of the gold six four Chevy to the far corner – he had a tarp cover it. I lifted it and seen (nearly 500) key loads of cocaine. I said, “Hey Juan!” waiving my right hand to turn the music down he so happen to turn up. I continued; “Juan, why you got both money & product in the same spot?” He said, “Bra. Me and ol boy got suspicious of leaving the product at another spot, so I moved the family out, and we brought it here overnight, I been up almost all night, then had to come get you”
Juan’s phone was ringing. Juan answered his cellular phone and hand signaled for me to go towards his bed room. I didnt know why but Juan led the way. He went in the master bedroom and grabbed an AK 47 out of his Closet area and quickly said to me “Fred grab your old mac 10”, and come watch”. I starred at my old gun because I thought it was lost, burried, or out in the streets being recycled or something. BUT NO, Juan had it.
So I grabbed the mac 10 and followed Juan to the living room and watched him look out the front window. Juan looked all around while on the phone telling someone that “it's clear, start coming fred.”
Now im asking,” Juan what the fuck am I looking for specifically - fill a nigguh in before I spray friendly fire aroung this bitch.” Juan didn’t have time. So I watched what he was looking at? But Juan was too focused on paying attention at canvasing an area. I began to try and peak around him and through holes. I couldnt see anything and I really didnt know what the hell i was looking for or to protect.
I was getting angered because I ain’t even had no pussy or some food yet! I just got out of Prison in the last hour.
Suddenly, A wooded brown bronco drove up in the driveway. Quickly, Juan opened the front door, and in came fast Freddie, with three paisono men all holding duffle bags.
Fast Fred was huffing. He dropped the blue bag, and said, “Hey Freddie you’re out, welcome home compadre- smiling. He continued.. “meet some workers of mine. Then Another phone call came in to Juan and he started to lookout the window again. This time it was a range rover pulling up. All of us were watching as look outs then to cover the person in the auto as he makes way onto the driveway and into the house. He too enters the door with several duffle bags. This guy was white and tall. He was breathing hard too. They all had about 50 keys in each bag.
Juan said, “Bra, meet this crazy ass white boy. This is Bill he use to be a D.E.A.
His ass got caught stealing out the property room in riverside Police division.” Bill extended his hand to shake, and I shook but with a sway back and ensued a stale look on my face. Everyone was watching me. I’m not sure if they were pulling something on me, was I being Punked, or I had a fucked up look on my face.
Bill pulled out his wallet and revealed his – I guess old ID badge. He even said, “F.B.I” I looked around at these matha fuckas, and they all fell out laughing. I’m still like tell me the joke!
I called Juan to the kitchen but he spoke over me saying, “Fred don’t make them feel uncomfortable man! Here, take this $5,000 get some clothes and go see the fam. Oh and take the black SS Monte Carlo on side of house for now because the Porsche was blocked in. need I Say anything else? I got the fuck on!
July 5, 1993.
Freddie cee calls Juan as they discussed the day of the Concert at the Forum in Inglewood California; Juan answers but says to call back later. He's trying to iron our business Papers and money with Lalo. Lalo is begging Juan for a large money loan.
Plus Juan said that Ricky Carter from the hood will be meeting him in Cerritos. Juan said, "Fred You remember him. His brother Dog (RIP) and Baby Haunch or Baby Boy? The niggah be going to Vegas in the Porsche like yours. So hit me later ok?”
I agreed. When I tried calling juan later, he just opened the cell phone for me to hear him talk but was too busy to answer and call.
So I hung up Decided to call next day.
On July 6, 1993. I called Juan about mid- noon. No answer, then several hours later. I had got carried away with my work i rememberes to call. But Still no answer.
On July 7, 1993. This day I went in to work early. I tried calling Juan again with no avail...Now I knew something wasn’t right when he didn’t answer my call. Juan would always answer my calls no matter what.
After Juan hadnt answered my calls a few days, I finally called my mom whom I haven’t talk to in 5 months. But, momma cee answered sniffling. “ Hello, mom you talk to Juan lately?” She answered in a shout, “Fred you ain’t never around when we need you! Juan is gone. The feds got ‘em, My baby’s gone.”
I was silent. Cold stone face. Trying to shake the untruth words of what my mother said. But at the same time, listening to how she felt of me, and listening to a mother mourning the loss of her child. To her it was death, and to her I failed them. I was speechless. Shocked and hurt. I didn’t think I could be of any use for words to comfort my mom. For when I called, it was as if the wrong time, and made me look like a motive for something else. Then again I called at the right time but damned to be right. My only words were, “ This is my number mom, and I’ll call back.”
Darvi Bell watched me as tears dripped from my eyes, she so emotionally felt. What had happened and so she graciously comforted me with a slow warm hug.
Days after, I tried calling my mom and family, but I couldn't get thru. There was no reason to check on the shop. No reason to drop in on mom and family – for one, they were giving me cold shoulder anyway, and two; I wasn’t trying to get implemented in that with the feds. No need far all of us to go down.
The point that I was trying to make, turning my back, and walking away at this point was of course I wanted very much to stop my cause and comfort the family. But, now they had a cause and I felt more pain of loneliness, Betrayal or befriended, but I eventually had to harden up.
I still suffer emotional distress, post traumatic stress disorder, and depression sometimes behind my brother being takin, and looked at as dead to society but alive in a cell hole. The thoughts fucke with me."
For more information on the book "I WALKED AWAY," go to
See a list of upcoming readings.
AJC Publishing is releasing my book "I Walked Away" "True Testimonies" "Un-Equally Yoked" and "Conspiracy on the Hood"
Read more news.
I always love to hear from prospective Employer, Clients, Fans, Friends, or Readers. Please don't hesitate to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
To learn more about my upcoming films - on set jobs, Announcing Gigs, book releases and or bookstore signing events, go to on of my social Connects: